Monday, April 9, 2012
Being that yesterday was Easter, I spent the day thinking about how blessed and happy I am. I also thought, "God must really love us." because I feel a little spoiled and a bit like I don't deserve all the wonderful things in my life. Then I thought about how much I love my kids and how I want to give them everything they need and make them happy. I often tell people that God is a father to all of us, his love for us is even greater than the love we have for our kids. If you really think about it, is there anything your kids can do that is unforgivable if they were truly sorry for it? For me there isn't anything my kids can do that I wouldn't forgive them for if they were truly sorry. I think God works the same way, because he is the most forgiving and his love for us is that of a father.
In church I have heard several times that God will always provide, so as long as you love him and pray to him. I have found that to be very true. There were times in my life when things were not going so well and I want to share this story with you because I feel it is one of the biggest turning points in my life.
When I was younger I had a boyfriend for about three years, I thought we were going to get married but something just wasn't right and the relationship ended, I had also lost my job in that same month as well. So there I was being young and heart broken and being the selfish pathetic young person I was, I cried a lot and was angry. I questioned my faith for the first time ever because I felt like my life was going nowhere and I didn't know how to get it back on track.
So that same week maybe just a day or two after the breakup I was sitting in my car with nowhere to go and I thought to myself. "I don't think I believe in anything anymore because all this bad stuff keeps happening." Like a crack of a whip this thought came into my head that said, "Don't go there!" next thing I knew I was driving to the church. When I got there I was in tears and totally aimless and I asked to talk to the pastor. This wasn't even my church, I'm Catholic but the nearest Church was a Baptist Church and it didn't matter where I went I just knew I needed help. Anyway the pastor comes walking down the stairs and sees me in tears and guides me to his office. That's were I spill everything! I told him what was going on and how I was questioning my faith and he told me that God is like the wind, you can't see him but you can feel him. It may seem like he goes away but you know he's there and he exists and he always comes back. He then told me that I just need to let go and go down the path that God has laid for me.
He told me to give my life to God and he would provide for me and that everything would be ok. I cried a lot in that office and when I left I sat in my car and began to drive away when I looked over at an Almond orchard and saw the wind blowing through the trees. Right at that moment I prayed and I said to God, "Lord, take me over, take over my life, whatever you have planned for me I'll do. Please take over my life and lead me down the right path." I was sobbing and when I was done praying I felt so much better, like a new person. That week I got a fantastic new job and I met Garett, I always say that God spoke to me that day through that pastor and he saved my life.
I may not go to church every Sunday but I have Church in my heart and I pray a lot. All my prayers begin with me thanking God for everything he has given me. Since that day, anytime times get rough and we think we may not make it through, some how some way God always provides for us. I had a rough year last year, well actually my whole family had a rough year with layoffs and the cancer scare with my Mom, but we made it through. Even when we thought we lost Beckam when I was five months pregnant, and all the complications I had up until the very day I had an emergency induction. I just felt like he was watching over us and making sure we got through it. I know a lot of bad things have happened in our lives but there are so many wonderful things, some things I know I don't deserve but am so thankful to have.
That's why I'll never stray from him, and I will never question my faith again. When Garett and I got together we made each other better people because God had paired us. I'm positively sure that this was his plan for me all along, and I'm so glad I asked for help that day. I never thought I would have kids before, and know I can't stop having them they make me so happy lol!
Anywho I thought it would be a good personal story to share to prove that we are forgiven and loved so much, all we have to do is try to be worthy of him and give our lives to him. I hope that someday someone out there years from now or today who is having a hard time reads this and maybe just maybe God has spoken to them through me in this post.
Happy Easter everyone!
Posted by Marion Smith at 12:41 AM