Well I'm glad I have a handy iPad since I will be in bed for awhile. I thought I may as well blog about this crazy week and maybe in a few months when I'm holding this baby I can look back and be reminded how lucky I am. I hope that's how this turns out. I'm so scared it feels like I cant think about much else. I've searching the Internet all day looking for answers and all I could find was horror stories, well they are horrific to me.
I'm haunted by what a Doctor told me today, he said that this may mean that I may miscarry but we'll keep an eye on it and get lots of rest. Then I read stories about women who miscarried just after seeing and hearing their baby. Boy am I dumb for reading those because that just made more afraid. Not afraid of the pain etc. But afraid for my baby, and afraid that if that were to happen I could never come back from it. "You have to try and rest and not stress out." says the Dr. Easy for you to say, it's I impossible!
Thankfully I have Garett who keeps saying, "Everything is going to be fine, I just have a really good feeling." Did you know when I thought I miscarried the other day he went straight to the computer to look up how to console someone going through a miscarriage? He amazes me! The kids are good to have around too, you can't help but smile when Brooke is walking her baby around the house in her pink stroller singing. Blake, he keeps bringing me cookies and food he really knows the way to my heart! Even when he sneaks a bite!
Anyway to shed light on what happened this morning, I woke up with more blood and clotting. Not as much as last time but it was not pretty and so scary. Got to the OB and listened for a heart beat and baby was still going strong. I really want to buy one of those dopler radios now so I can listen every day. Okay maybe every ten minutes, I cant help it. So I will continue to post about this pregnancy and hopefully soon these posts will become more happy and uplifting. Till then I'm going to search online for one of those radios!
Thank you all so much for the kind words and prayers, it means so much to me I can't even express how amazed and thankful you are all in my life!